Complaints

Up on the moon, the Princess grumbled as she gazed through her telescope. "Stop travelling already, and come out, Me'tha. Give me another view of your hunky body..."

Petualantly, the Moon Princess stood up from her telescope, and huffed across her room. Her huff slowed to a wade as she approached her stuffed animal collection, tossed all across the floor. A different kind of huffiness appeared by the time she flopped herself onto her bed.

"WAAAAHHH!!" she cried, tears flowing a river from her cheeks, "My hottie doesn't want to show himself! He roxors my soxors! No one else is as l33t as him! How can I liiiiiive without seeing his sweet bod again?!"

The princess heard a refined clanking at the side of her bed. Mervyn. At last. She rolled over slowly, taking in a casual glance at her tuxedo-clad servant.

"Madam, is there something you require?" Mervyn enquired, in his soft, clipped voice.

"OMFG Mervyn, j00 like, took for3v3r to get here." The Princess exclaimed, jumping up, and hopping up and down on her bed.

"I was not aware that your highness had called. I merely came in to do a little flood control."
Mervyn pointed towards some shiny pipes leading out of the entrance to the Princess' room.

"Was that a j0ke? I'm like, totally not laughing, d00d. Why do you always have to make fun of meeeeee??" the Princess continued bouncing on the bed, only faster, and adding a new stream of water to be flushed out.

Mervyn sighed. It was to be one of those days.

-----

TB sat down at his desk quietly, waiting the arrival of Me'tha. Outwardly, he showed no particular signs of anything, but inside, a calculator was rapidly going over figures. This was not uncommon for TB, pretty much the usual run of things. But today, the figures were looking very good indeed. Mysterious expedition, for unknown length of time, unexpected dangers... so many extra charges to factor in. The summer heat was only just fading, must factor in fatigue to the men, the 'need' (and charging) for extra horses...

TB's thoughts were derailed as he finally came to notice a noise in the room. Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack...

"George, what ARE you doing now?" TB asked, rising from his chair, and facing his brutish bodyguard.

"Well, boz.." George started, painfully slowly, "Lenny here wuz saying that I couldn't be quiet for a whole talk, so I'z decided to show him wrong." George beamed, proud at his accomplishment.

"Well then, what was that noise?"

"I wuz making cuts in the wall every time I was quiet."

"Ain't he clevah?" Lenny chimed in, "now he's got proof of how clevah he is!"

"So to prove you were quiet, you made noise." TB summarized, with amazing calm and neutrality.

"Yeah!" George beamed. "Ain't I good?"